By Michael BB
With a small apology to David Letterman and his staff writers
Number Ten – His Bald Spot is Showing. Of course lies have always been characterized as bald-faced, not bald-headed, but we have to call’em where we see ’em. Apparently, the spot is a bit on the moveable side, as its location and dimensions change from foto to foto. Sound familiar? Bitches on a Bus
Number Nine – The Neighbors Don’t Like Him. No, I don’t mean his downtown Madison neighbors, or his Maple Bluff neighbors, I mean his old neighbors back in Wauwautosa. Yes, all the other bunches may have their problems with the gubernatorial peccadilloes, but his W-Crew knows all about how the kids are getting personal bodyguards, in their private school, no less, and who knows how much more than this they might know. They know enough about politics to put Recall petition stations in their front yards, within shouting distance of the Walker house’s back door. Maybe they ought to be saying more in public. Governor Walker | MacIver Institute
Number Eight – Takes a Concealed Handgun Deer-hunting. Well, all you can see in the foto on this webpage is a rifle. That’s all we are legally entitled to see. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and fire comes from heat, and if your political career is smoldering, there’s a carelessly thrown match somewhere. OK, that WAS a bit torturous, but you laughed, dint’ ja’?
He did not get a deer, but lots of hunters don’t. No one is reporting whether or not he actually discharged his weapon. I think that is more newsworthy than actually hitting something, since we know that most guns are fired in vain, except those fired on their owners by someone with enough street smarts to disarm some firearms amateur whose house they have just broken into.
Governor Walker takes aim Yes, it’s a Fox News link, they can tell a political story reasonably well, if it takes place in the woods.
more stuff about Guns N’ Walker…
Number Seven – Doesn’t give Pagans their Due. “The State of Wisconsin, and the Office of the Governor, having given due diligence to the pagan and atheist minorities for a sufficient length of time, do hereby decree and affirm that the Holiday Tree in the Rotunda of the Capital is now, once again, an Xmas tree, having become the commercial symbol by which consumers know when to haul out the plastic, and get America, and Wisconsin, moving again, in the Right Direction. I mean, a direction that’s correct, I mean, not Politically Correct, you know, but a Good One, towards where the Koch brothers want us to be.” Fake quote, of course. God and Mammon, now that is some really old stuff, just like the history of the evergreens in winter.
The link below is to a site called STR or Stands to Reason, which is not a very reasoned group of writings. It makes the rationales of the Torah look like high-school compositions. The writer tries to make excuses for the wholesale appropriation of indigenous cultural festivals by Christian missionaries throughout history. Ask any Native American how this has gone for them so far.
History of Christmas Trees from our friends at the History Channel.
Number Six – Keeps putting the Polarized Power Cord in the Socket the Wrong Way.
You and I, that is to say, ALL of us, know that if the Republicans in the State Legislature had played things smart, fast, and by the rules, they would have had no legal arguments to disturb their Power Grab. But the Fitzs and Walker just did not have the savvy or the courage to play by the rules, and call their bill by its proper name, the Remove the Innards from Municipal Unions Act. They waited until all they had left was shouting, and then ignored the open meetings law when they had their final twist of the knife. Really dumb. If they had gotten the whole thing over with before there was a chance to build opposition, much less attract national publicity, we would be living in the same state, but the recall might not be such an incredibly popular thing amongst a wide range of voters throughout the State. Shocking…
Number Five – Thought Free Speech meant Politicians had to give up Speaking Fees, so he Made Rules Against It.
Free Speech is never free, it always costs someone something. Since speech is now equivalent to money, this seems at least logical. So, Gov. Walker hits the Rubber Chicken Trail, from Texas to Kansas, all the places who share the strong progressive traditions of Wisconsin, eh? Money flows everywhere, to everywhere, and anyone who is involved in political speech will spend to make themselves heard. Thus, the source of the funds makes for a Greenback Paper Trail from one coffer to another, with all the tell-tale aromas trailing behind.
Number Four – Wants Democracy for the Entire State, except Waukesha County- The one-person – one-vote rule applies statewide, but in Waukesha the rule is one-clerk-one set of votes, depending on the needs of current party in power. Yes, I know, it’s just the repetition of a disproven canard. Prosser got more votes and won. A Democratic Party official on the scene confirmed it. Now that the recall is rolling, how will this special election be managed in Waukesha County. I want it to be handled like the rest of the State, with non-partisan dispatch.
Number Three – Thought the Faculty at Marquette Defeated him in Class President Election, Since they had Better IDs – Another example of how a not unreasonable idea, voter ID, was taken to a partisan extreme by our current administration and its two main short-order cooks, Fitz and Fitz. I have always felt uneasy waltzing into a polling place and telling the aged poll workers my name and address, without having to present a single shred of documentation. Call me paranoid, hey, who’s that calling me paranoid…anyway, it could have been empowering and actually played to great positive effect, had it not been for the Stupid Rules made by the Stupid Rulers about what IDs would work where and when. Any official state ID should work anywhere, anytime, but, no, that’s too practical and convenient. Republicans hate Big Government, except when they can use it to protect their interests from electoral disruption. We want our kids to go to school so they don’t end up being union members, right? The LEAST they could have done was enabled college-level people to get used to being regular voters. Break ’em of that nasty habit while they’re young, I guess, and you’ll have less blowback to worry about when the next Big Crisis hits.
Number Two – Could’ve had a V-8, and Slapped his Forehead WAY too Hard – Whenever journalists ask our Governor a question with an obvious, but less than Walker-friendly answer, he consistently responds in a way that is guaranteed to make him seem shallow, venal, self-congratulatory, and just plain not living in the Real State of Wisconsin. If he ever learns to admit that not every single thing he did, or will do, is a stone-cold Winner for Wisconsinites, he might actually seem like a person with feelings and thoughts, not just a nice-looking face that conceals so much more than it reveals.
AND The Number One Reason to Recall Gov. Scott Walker – Fool us Once, Shame on Us; Fool us Twice, Shame on Us!
Next Time, Power, Control, and Public Relationships…MBB